Love hurts

Love hurts

They say love is supposed to heal.

Yet,

why is my heart

as fragile as glass,

shattering the more you love me?

— An anonymous escape from life 

***

Art by Sandra Cumplido

______________________________

A small thought prompted a question that is forever in the back of my mind.

I’ve read numerous poems stating: “Real love isn’t supposed to hurt. It heals.” 

I know that the love between Mitch and I is real, whether it may be platonic or romantic. We both have extremely mature mindsets and hence, aren’t making a huge fuss about it either.

This was the first time in three years that I felt genuinely loved by someone…

Except that while it initially felt great, nowadays it’s turned into pain.

Why, you may ask?

I question why he cares. Why he loves me to the extent that he does.

How can he treat me in such a caring manner?

Me, a sad person who is a burden, forever tormented by emotional pain.

A person who is always being spoon-fed with emotional support and never giving anything in return.

A person who never seems to make anyone happy, but only causes others to feel pain.

I feel as though I don’t deserve any of it.

It hurts because I feel so underserving of all he gives me. He sacrifices his time, his happiness, and his friendships just to be by my side. To support me and make me feel content. To keep me alive.

I want to push him away. I want him to live his life in happiness without me by his side. Yet, I can’t bear to lose him. Even the thought of it shatters me.

 There is an ongoing battle between my heart and head.

And there are often times where I want to give up.

10 thoughts on “Love hurts

  1. dbeautifuldreams says:

    Maybe that love is “deserved” because it does not feel entitled. It’s an honest love.

    Great peace!! 👌🏾

    Like

  2. toritatorina says:

    I have in the past felt this way, I felt like I was leech to everyone I loved, and I’m sorry that this is how you’re feeling. But from what I read, he spends time with you because he wants to, he tries to make you feel better because he wants to. He wants to do these things and be there for you because he sees the lovely, wonderful things about you, even if you don’t think/see/believe you have any.

    I don’t know you at all but I know how you’re feeling and I don’t feel that way anymore because I’ve come to realize that I matter too. I have great qualities and traits as well as bad ones but I deserve a good person who loves me. I’ve got love to give and we can both make sacrifices for each other because we’re both worth it. As cliche as it sounds, you’ve gotta love yourself, and trust that you’re worth it and spend time working at it until you get there and believe it fully. Mitch thinks you’re worth it, and you trust him, right? Trust yourself a little, even if it’s in little baby steps.

    I wish you the best, sending vast amounts of love and support over the interwebs! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. lovelyylibra says:

    Aww baby girl, don’t feel bad 😔 you’re not forcing him to do anything for you. Like the other girl said, he’s doing everything he does because he wants to. He sees you for you with all your flaws, imperfections, darkness, emotional struggles and he decided that he wanted to love you. Something you did motivated this wonderful man to want to love you. Do you realize that? You don’t meet strangers and sacrifice your life for them, he met you and you impressed him so much that he’s willing to do so much for you.

    Idk what it is, but something about you caught his eye. Don’t ever feel bad that you have made a big enough impression on somebody’s heart that they want to love you. ❤❤❤

    I wish I could talk to myself like this 😥😥😥

    Liked by 1 person

  4. artfromperry says:

    “Love doesn’t hurt. Control hurts. Once a person finds love without control, then the person is probably in the right space with the right person. People live and people change. Many times when ‘love’ is in the picture, and then one experiences that ‘love hurts’, it really isn’t the love that’s hurting. Almost always, it is the feeling of control or lack of control that sends a feeling of hurt. Once a human being learns to truly distinguish between love and control, then life, all around, feels easier, more peaceful and way less painful” – artfromperry

    Liked by 1 person

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