That crippling feeling,
when you’re happy one moment,
a trigger comes along,
and your in deep shit the next.
And you can’t control the flow of tears
as they cascade down your cheek,
as relentless as the voice in the back of your mind,
that says you are not good enough.
That says to go kill yourself
because you are no worth to anyone
in this world.
That says you are a leech
to all those you love so
tenderly and wholeheartedly.
And all the strength you had mustered over the years,
the torn fabric of your life that you
gruellingly sewed together–
fragment by fragment,
seam by seam,
thread by thread,
is torn apart in that single moment
where you lose all hope
and the devil within your soul
cries out in victory.
The only thing left for you to do
is cry in despair.
To let your spirit bleed
and eventually become parched
of all its goodness.
Of all its purity, clarity and genuity.
This is the cycle of my life.
Happiness one moment,
gone the next.
— An anonymous escape from life
Art by Shaza Wajjokh
Apologies for the rawness of this random piece of writing. A few days ago my Mum and sister got into an argument (over the most stupid thing ever in my opinion), and eavesdropping on their conversation whilst dealing with their harsh tone of voice triggered me. Amidst a fit of relentless tears I somehow typed this up on my tablet without really paying attention to what I was doing. After reading back over it a day later, I thought it would be interesting to show others what my mind wanders off too.