Update + I’m on Sarahah!

Hello everyone!

This is just a short update of how I’ve been going since my last brain-vomit post, where I expressed the issues I was having with a close friend of mine. Firstly I’d like to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who commented and gave me words of advice and encouragement. Your support is endless and I could not have asked for more. Also another THANK YOU for all the lovely comments on my latest pieces of writing. Recently I’ve been experimenting with writing prose (if you hadn’t noticed 😁) and writing longer pieces of poetry. It certainly does take more effort but the outcomes are always rewarding.

So despite all the overthinking with the issue I was having with Mitch, I decided not to take any action. I figured that giving myself some space was the best option, as I didn’t know what to do in the first place and that would just be another source of overthinking. Mitch did end up messaging me soon after to wish me happy new year, which was quite nice of him. For once it felt comforting to have someone think of me. Since then– regarding the issue– my brain has finally calmed down and at the moment I’ve been ok.

Again, I have a question to ask. This time it’s something out of curiosity, though it does bother me the tiniest little bit.

Do you dislike it when people have overly high expectations of you?

For example, Mitch (again) messaged me asking if I’d started studying for the coming school year. Before I could even reply, he said this:

“Yes ofc you have”

For some reason that niggled at me eevvveeerrr soooo slightly. It made me realise that I don’t like it when I receive praise or when people think of me highly…especially being asian. A lot of the time I’m really lazy and end up cramming last minute before assessments. Still, I do manage to pull out decent marks and I guess that’s why people don’t believe me when I describe my study habits. Every test they’ll always ask for my score expecting me to be top (or if not, near the top) of the class, and it does bug me. I think it’s got to do with my low self-confidence and how I always place myself on a lower pedestal than I deserve. Whenever I receive good results I’m never truly happy. To me, low scores are more constructive and give me a chance to reflect my mistakes.

Before I end this post, I’m now on Sarahah! For those that haven’t heard of it, Sarahah is a messaging service where you can send anonymous feedback/questions. I’ve always wanted to do a Q&A kind of thing but I know that some people don’t like to be identified when asking questions, and the WordPress contact section doesn’t allow that. Sarahah has also been known to be a hotspot for bullying, but surely the WordPress community is better than that 😉 I doubt that I’ll get any messages but if you have any questions or a nice comment you anonymously want to send me, please let me know! You can send me anything! If I have enough questions I’ll create a separate Q&A post…hopefully…

I’ll be gone now, have a good day/night wherever you are ❤️





9 thoughts on “Update + I’m on Sarahah!

  1. Kiera(n) Somebody says:

    So that’s what Sarahah is… I saw it while searching for something on the appstore and it was apparently one of the most popular apps. ☺ But I’m the same way with studying, actually. I never study, and I’m Asian, too- but my school’s got a fairly even mix of kids of different races, so it doesn’t seem to matter as much here (that, and I put a lot of effort into appearing how I want to, and as far from the stereotype as possible). But hey, own your high scores! I know it’s way easier said than done, but you DID achieve them yourself. And if it helps, (if your teachers hand back tests) you can still find things to improve on for yourself in short answer sections and stuff. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • happysky7311 says:

      Yay a fellow Asian! 😃 For once there’s someone who knows my pain with stereotypes. My school actually has so many Asians but the problem is that most of them are quite smart…that just provides me with more competition and people to go up against. I do try to own my scores but sometimes it’s my brain that just tells me otherwise… not something I can physically control but at least I’m aware of it. Thanks for the support 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Luftmentsch says:

    I don’t like it when people have high expectations of me. I feel under pressure to live up to them. I was at university at Oxford, but I don’t often tell people (a) because it feels like showing off and (b) because then I feel under pressure to be clever and intellectual the whole time. It’s funny, because I said this to my therapist who also went to Oxford and she says she sees it as meaning that she never has to be clever again, because if anyone says she’s stupid, she can say she was at Oxford. So I guess it’s a matter of perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

    • happysky7311 says:

      Hmm yeah after reading what you just said I realise that I have a completely different perspective. In my case, sometimes I can be unintentionally cocky with my marks and to be honest I’m not too fussed about showing off or not; it’s the attention I get that makes me want to avoid it. It’s amusing, because whenever I fall under my friends’ expectations they don’t say anything, but whenever I get good marks that’s when the remarks come in 😕

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Lizzy Bennet says:

    I can relate to you so much! The same thing happens to me all the time, and it does bug me, though not in the same way. When someone praises me, my first thought is “Wow, someone’s actually complimenting me!” and I start feeling all happy (pathetic, ik). But immediately I start reprimanding myself because I’m unworthy of that praise/expectations. I feel like a fraud because I don’t work hard or even get as many marks. That’s what bugs me. But sometimes, I take it contructively. If someone tells me that I’m going to score top marks on that test, I actually try to live up to that expectation so that I’m not a fraud for getting that praise.

    So maybe instead of letting it bug you, maybe you could take it as a compliment?

    Liked by 1 person

    • happysky7311 says:

      Yea… idk I always have trouble receiving compliments genuinely 😔 it’s something I’m aware of but it’s hard to change, since it’s my mind subconsciously twisting things and not my intention. At least someone relates to me hehe…that makes me feel a little better 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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