All my life I’d thought that I was too much to handle. That I’d have to cross seven seas to find someone like you. That I’d need to scour every shore, dive headfirst into every ocean, search every star, every galaxy, every universe for someone like you. That I’d need to break my heart and repair the seams over and over again. I envisioned a life of my soul behind bars, lost of its key. A bird with clipped wings, unable to fly, left to fend for itself in this cruel world. I envisioned loneliness, despair, waking up to sodden pillows and throbbing pains, nowhere else to store the sorrow spilling from my soul but in the bags under my eyes. I’d convinced myself that all was lost, that I’d never find the missing piece to my puzzle. That I’d never find someone who’d make me whole. That for as long as I lived, I’d always be empty.
Then one day, you came.
And in those first few moments, I knew I’d never be able to let you go.
You were a pearl between my fingertips, something I’d admire every minute of my life, something I’d shed tears over if lost. You were that one song I’d listen to over and over again, never ceasing to hit replay. You were that photograph I’d spend hours gazing over, remembering all the moments that took place, paying attention to every single detail for hours on end. You were someone special to me. You were my treasure. And still are.
I’m petrified to let you go. I fear the day where I’ll sit in a cafe on my own, looking at the empty seat where you’d be, missing your presence. I fear the day when I’ll have no one to tell about my good news, my new job, my smallest achievements. I fear the day where I can’t share my happiness with someone. I fear the day where my coloured world will revert to the sheer blackness it used to be.
Tell me, if I’ve searched for someone like you my entire life, why would I let you go so easily?