I know I'm not good at giving you my heart. Trust me when I say that my inability to properly express my feelings and my aversion to vulnerability has eaten me up on the inside countless times. That whenever I tear my heart off my sleeve and shove it down my throat it burns. I … Continue reading You matter to me
I hate falling in love. You know why? When I fall for someone, it's like falling into a deep pit. A seemingly bottom, dark abyss. There, I'm given two solutions– One: to wait for that very person I fell for to rescue me, to love me, to throw me a lifeline and guide me safely … Continue reading Aversion to love
All my life I've been yearning for a safe relationship. A relationship where I can feel free without anxiety, express myself in whatever way I want, and love knowing that it'll always be reciprocated. Truth is, those wishes are no more than dreams. For as long as I hold onto my insecurities, I'll keep pushing … Continue reading This is why I’m scared to love
I feel so alone, I'd rather your cold hands than nothing else. *** Art by 허씨초코(Heo jiseon) | Grafolio
All my life I'd thought that I was too much to handle. That I'd have to cross seven seas to find someone like you. That I'd need to scour every shore, dive headfirst into every ocean, search every star, every galaxy, every universe for someone like you. That I'd need to break my heart and … Continue reading My treasure
I built stone walls around my heart to avoid getting hurt. Little did I know that it would stop me from feeling too. How ironic, that sometimes numbness hurts more than pain.
And my lifelong goal is to be the one flower in a garden full of weeds.
I hate that I've been wearing a facade for as long as I can remember. I hate that I've hidden my emotions. I hate that I've faked happiness, laughed the tears away, thrown myself aside for others. Why, you may ask? Call me selfish, but now that I'm genuinely loved by someone, genuinely cared for … Continue reading Internal battle
And if I ever see you again, I'll hope that you've been happier, healthier and more spirited than I've been.
To a depressed person, happiness is like a treasure. It's something that they constantly scour their souls for, even if their efforts are futile. It's something that they're afraid to lose, and avoid thinking of the prospect of losing. It's like a gigantic pearl they roll in between their fingertips, laid back in bed, watching … Continue reading What happiness is like to a depressed person